Dating to Marry

The divorce rate is roughly at 50% for first marriages and climbs to roughly 60% for second marriages. The most common reason why marriages fail is a lack of commitment by one spouse to maintain the relationship. A satisfactory relationship takes two individuals committed to maintaining the relationship. Whether you are a young person in your 20’s, an older single, or a person over 50 who has experienced a “gray divorce”, it is essential to choose a partner who will be committed to maintaining the relationship in the future. The chemicals produced in a new romantic relationship can cause individuals to see their partner with rose colored glasses, thereby either being unaware of their partner’s shortcomings or unwilling to allow their awareness to dissuade them from pursuing the relationship. Many researchers have compared individuals in the honeymoon stage to intoxicated drivers and have jokingly wondered if there should be a law against choosing a partner for life under the influence of infatuation. 

Most individuals have their idea of the qualities, skills and interests of the “ideal” romantic match for a romantic relationship. Family background, educational level, attractiveness, political views, spiritual views, interests, relationship skills, communication skills, conflict styles, attachment styles, beliefs about relationships, a passion for life, and personality are just a few things that play a role in compatibility. Patrician recommends that individuals discover and develop their personality using personality tests such as The Big Five Personality Test and The Myers Briggs Personality Test before entering the dating scene. Although there are no guarantees, playfully asking a date to take The Big Five or Myers Briggs and asking questions to get to know the date on a deeper level can possibly avoid future potential heartache. Navigating the dating scene armed with knowledge on key relationship issues can lead to choosing a partner who will be committed to maintaining the relationship throughout the lifespan. Call Patrician today to gain new insights about yourself and to learn about the qualities to look for in a dating partner which can determine compatibility and long term commitment.