Commitment in Marriage

For a marriage to have a high rate of satisfaction, both partners have to put forth their best efforts. Martial success is more attainable if the commitment is mutual. One person cannot save a marriage or make a marriage good without the other partner’s commitment to putting forth his or her best effort.

In marriage, the commitment is threefold.
1.   The commitment is to self. This involves the commitment to grow as a person and as a marriage partner.  Instead of blaming the other person, one assumes personal responsibility for making things better in the relationship, and does his or her part.
2.   The commitment is to each other. In marriage, you are making a promise to each other to move towards each other in love with positive regard.
3.   The commitment is to the relationship, the marriage and to the family. This involves seeing the relationship as an entity. One can no longer only think of what is best for himself or herself individually as one now has to consider what is best for the marriage and also the family if children are involved.

Motivations for working on the marriage include personal dedication and constraint commitment. Personal dedication is the desire to maintain or improve the quality of a relationship for the joint benefit of the couple. This involves a desire to continue in the relationship to improve it, sacrifice for it, invest in it, to link personal goals to it, and to benefit the partner as well as oneself. Personal dedication involves a belief that the two spouses are on the same team, working together side by side. Constraint commitment refers to things that compel individuals to maintain relationships even when there is not a personal dedication to the relationship. Constraints such as children, joint assets and money make the termination of the relationship more costly economically, socially, personally and psychologically. Long term marriages will go through brief periods of rough times, and constraints often can hold couples together during rough times. However, without both spouses deciding to work on the relationship (personal dedication), the couple will not restore the intimate connection and the relationship will not be a satisfactory and happy relationship. Without personal dedication, spouses live independent, separate lives and come together only to make decisions when needed.  Whether or not a couple stays together for life depends great deal  on the mutual motivation and mutual commitment of the partners as it takes two to be committed to improving the marriage relationship to have a good marriage.